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Writing > Users > Douglas > 2015

Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction


The following is a piece of writing submitted by Douglas on October 8, 2015
"I'm a math teacher...I had to do this. :P"

Algebra Flavored Coffee

Introducing, for the first time ever, just in time for the Fall 2015 school season...

Algebra Flavored Coffee!

That's right - you can get the daily recommended allowance of all your major variables in just one 16 oz cup of our finest Algebra Coffee! Your teacher will be astounded by finesse with which you solve the most complicated algebraic equations, amazed by the speed of your higher degree factoring skills, and shocked by your deep comprehension of the fundamental abstract principles of mathematics.

The following is a real conversation overheard in a high school mathematics class; no actors were used (or harmed) in this live footage:

Algebra Teacher: John, what's one plus one?

John: Uh...uh...ummmm...three?

Algebra Teacher: Incorrect! How do you find the roots of a quadratic equation?

John: (takes a sip of Algebra Flavored Coffee) Ex equals negative bee plus or minus the square root of bee squared minus four aye see all over two aye!

Algebra Teacher: Brilliant! You don't just pass for the quarter, you have an automatic A+ for the rest of your high school career!

John: Thanks, Algebra Flavored Coffee!

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