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We have so much to speak of, you and I: My attempt at a villanelle.
Posted by Laura, May 13, 2010. 4201 views. ID = 3560

We have so much to speak of, you and I

Posted by Laura, May 13, 2010. 4201 views. ID = 3560
This post was written in 5 minutes.
This is a villanelle, but not as strict as some. The general idea is that the first and last lines of the first stanza are alternately repeated as the LAST line in the next four stanzas, and the last stanza uses both as the last two lines of the poem.
I didn't keep the lines exactly the same in each repetition, but I liked it better with the slight variations.
This post has been awarded 44 stars by 10 readers.

We have so much to speak of, you and I
For every day we share such sweet converse,
And there are words enough for each reply.

As if no conscious efforts bring them nigh,
And time grants us the freedom to immerse,
In all we have to speak of, you and I.

A simple walk, a gaze into the sky,
Brings thoughts to share of all we have traversed,
Inciting words enough for each reply.


And even if, were smiles in short supply -
Few happy thoughts saw fit to intersperse,
We'd still have much to speak of, you and I.

But what if joy should, for a moment, die,
And speech, in that dark hour, make all things worse -
And there were no words fit to make reply?

I do not fear the silence, by and by,
For hearts that speak in love do not disperse.
We will have more to speak of, you and I,
There will be time and trust for each reply.

Copyright 2010 Laura. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


   
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This post has been awarded 44 stars by 10 readers.

Comments


Douglas
May 13, 2010
I do believe this is only the second villanelle ever to be posted on this site. And it is beautifully done. I like the freedom you gave yourself to modify your repeated lines. Being the strictly methodical person that I am, I didn't allow myself that freedom in mine.
   ~Posted by Douglas, May 13, 2010

Laura
May 17, 2010
Why thank you. And either way of writing totally depends on the poem... I was, of course, thinking of "Do not go gentle into that good night," by Dylan Thomas, and reminded of just how powerful those repeating lines are. Each one of them could stand alone, and so for this kind of poem, with so much repetition in a relatively small space, I felt like those lines would have to be pretty powerful in order to avoid changing them a little. And I didn't feel like that was quite the case here - perhaps someday I will.

Funny how everyone approaches it differently :-)
   ~Posted by Laura, May 17, 2010



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