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Hello Spammer. Hello Scammer: Hello Spammer, Hello Scammer - a song to be sung to the tune of Allan Sherman's 'Hello mother, hello father'
Posted by Rabbit Stu, Jan 21, 2008. 10259 views. ID = 518

Hello Spammer. Hello Scammer

Posted by Rabbit Stu, Jan 21, 2008. 10259 views. ID = 518
This post was written in 1 minutes.
Whew! This one took a while to write - don't be deceived by the time listed. I wrote it elsewhere and pasted it in.

This should be sung to the tune of Allan Sherman's song "Hello Mother, Hello Father". A song which, by the way, has a really weird rhythm/rhyme, and is not easy to write for!
This post has been awarded 107 stars by 24 readers.

Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
Wish that you were in the slammer.
You are not so entertaining
Which is why I wrote this little song complaining.

Just this morning, Without warning,
We all started into mourning
For our long lost Uncle Roddy
Who has left ten million dollars to nobody.

Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
Wish that you had better grammar!
Hate to think that you get paid,
Maybe you should spend a year in second grade.


Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
I'd beat you with a sledge hammer,
But my mom says "Be forgiving,"
So I'll put my weapons down with great misgiving.

And tomorrow without sorrow
We'll mail you to Mount Kilimanjaro
There you'll be (by our criteria)
Much much closer to your homeland of Nigeria

Copyright 2008 Rabbit Stu. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


   
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This post has been awarded 107 stars by 24 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: Letter To A Spammer
This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version

Comments


Rabbit Stu
Jan 22, 2008
A couple explanatory comments: the second verse is referring to the "Next Of Kin Scam", in which the scam artist tries to convince you to fake being next of kin to a deceased millionaire.

Also, in the last verse, to make the rhythm work, criteria and nigeria have to be 3 syllable words: cry-tear-ya and ny-jeer-ya
   ~Posted by Rabbit Stu, Jan 22, 2008

Katie
Jan 22, 2008
ROFL!! *gasps for breath*
Oh it works perfectly!!! This is outstanding!
But you sir, have too much time on your hands. ;-)
   ~Posted by Katie, Jan 22, 2008

Rabbit Stu
Jan 22, 2008
*grins*

Thanks!
   ~Posted by Rabbit Stu, Jan 22, 2008

clayman
Aug 11, 2008
nice one
   ~Posted by clayman, Aug 11, 2008

End
Oct 20, 2008
I got a good chuckle from this. =D
   ~Posted by End, Oct 20, 2008

Michael Pratt
Aug 8, 2009
From an IT person of 13 years well done!
   ~Posted by Michael Pratt, Aug 8, 2009

Ari James
Jun 26, 2010
I've never even heard the song, but I still think this is hilarious. I love the 3rd stanza.
   ~Posted by Ari James, Jun 26, 2010



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