Scribbler: Fifteen Minutes of Fiction
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Recycled me (Apr 8, 2013)
Bob's Red Face (Jun 8, 2011)
Memories (Jun 4, 2011)
Yesteryear (May 24, 2011)
Ocean Danger (May 19, 2011)
Stamps (May 12, 2011)
Special Days (May 7, 2011)
Fictional characters (Apr 26, 2011)
Winter Morn (Apr 17, 2011)
More writing by Scribbler
Fear of loss (Apr 13, 2011)
|Douglas||Aimster du Clarkentine||ashamed1|
|Azaleen Schmetterling||Brett G. Rudder||Chilly|
|marlowe kitt||Michael K||MissAnnie|
|R. Wesley Lovil||Rabbit Stu||Samantha|
May 13, 2011
Thanks for your kind comment on my post "Thoughts of 'Could've'". It made my day.
Jun 15, 2009
|No, you're fine with that. Thanks for checking. :)|
Mar 17, 2009
|Haha! And I thought I was the only one. It's like counting waltz steps aloud, right? :)|
Dec 20, 2008
|Thank you Scribbler. It took some work. but I think the effort was worth it if only for the experience of having done it.|
Dec 19, 2008
|I have posted a piece in blank verse. Robert Frost was known to write in such a way at times. I think it read similar to his work in structure.|
Dec 2, 2008
|Your Christmas Party poem is a fun poem, and I really like the ending. If you're interested, I did note a few places where I stumbled over the meter. Consider going through and doing some tweaks, because, if you can get those taken care of, this one might be a possibility for next year's anthology. :) Also, if you do fix those, let me know - I may toss this into the featured gallery.|
Pushing, shoving as we went, with big smiles on our faces.
To me if feels awkward to give the accent to "big". "with smiles upon our faces" would be one possibility.
None of had seen him
None of US had seen him.
All dressed in red with a great big sack came right up close to us, - the "a" is an extraneous beat. "All dressed in red, with giant sack, came..."
don’t be glum "do not be glum"
An exciting gift-wrapped package. "Exciting gift wrapped packages"
When Santa gave me "When Santa gave to me"
There's also an extra syllable here, I think, though I didn't see an obvious fix for it: None of had seen him and he’s the favourite of us all.
Oct 30, 2008
|Thanks for the comment, scribbler! One of these days I'm going to try using the grab bag to write a sonnet! :)|
Aug 17, 2008
|I think you've got a winner. Lists of names are so much fun in poetry - it's like a jigsaw puzzle to get the right names in the right order, and then it sounds so impressive when you get it right.|
By the way, if you look at this one Sesquipedalianism, it has the same meter & rhyme as yours, but looks very different, because the 4/3 lines are combined to make lines of 7.
Advantage to that is, it makes the poem more compact. But also, somewhere in your poem (if I remember right) you had a line of 3/4. Writing it as a line of 7 does away with that issue.
Aug 17, 2008
|Ah, I see. That pronunciation is a bit problematic for an iambic meter - there's no way to make it fit!|
I checked a couple different websites (my own French is a bit rusty) and the more reputable sites said roo-SO is the correct pronunciation.