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Scribbler's Writer Profile Page. ID = 274
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Writing

Recycled me (Apr 8, 2013)
Bob's Red Face (Jun 8, 2011)
Memories (Jun 4, 2011)
Yesteryear (May 24, 2011)
Ocean Danger (May 19, 2011)
Stamps (May 12, 2011)
Special Days (May 7, 2011)
Fictional characters (Apr 26, 2011)
Winter Morn (Apr 17, 2011)
Fear of loss (Apr 13, 2011)
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Writing History

2013 writing
2011 writing
2010 writing
2009 writing
2008 writing

Reading List

DouglasAimster du Clarkentineashamed1
Azaleen SchmetterlingBrett G. RudderChilly
DaisyElizabeth LFerdinand
HannahIsaacJeff Howe
JessablueJoy12Katie
lady diLauralifetalk
lostcerebellumMacauDadMarkHudson
marlowe kittMichael KMissAnnie
murkiPeter-TwitchellPiquant Scribe
R. Wesley LovilRabbit StuSamantha
steve7699Sylvan Sylphvessels
wordsmith 

My Favorites

Deliberate Ignorance (Sep 8, 2008)
Love Sonnet (Sep 11, 2008)
Rainy Day (Aug 3, 2008)

Messages


steve7699
May 13, 2011
Hey Scribbler,

Thanks for your kind comment on my post "Thoughts of 'Could've'". It made my day.

Write on.

Steve

Douglas
Jun 15, 2009
No, you're fine with that. Thanks for checking. :)

Daisy
Mar 17, 2009
Haha! And I thought I was the only one. It's like counting waltz steps aloud, right? :)

Jeff Howe
Dec 20, 2008
Thank you Scribbler. It took some work. but I think the effort was worth it if only for the experience of having done it.

Jeff Howe
Dec 19, 2008
I have posted a piece in blank verse. Robert Frost was known to write in such a way at times. I think it read similar to his work in structure.

Douglas
Dec 2, 2008
Your Christmas Party poem is a fun poem, and I really like the ending. If you're interested, I did note a few places where I stumbled over the meter. Consider going through and doing some tweaks, because, if you can get those taken care of, this one might be a possibility for next year's anthology. :) Also, if you do fix those, let me know - I may toss this into the featured gallery.

Pushing, shoving as we went, with big smiles on our faces.

To me if feels awkward to give the accent to "big". "with smiles upon our faces" would be one possibility.

None of had seen him

None of US had seen him.

All dressed in red with a great big sack came right up close to us, - the "a" is an extraneous beat. "All dressed in red, with giant sack, came..."

don’t be glum "do not be glum"

An exciting gift-wrapped package. "Exciting gift wrapped packages"

When Santa gave me "When Santa gave to me"

There's also an extra syllable here, I think, though I didn't see an obvious fix for it: None of had seen him and he’s the favourite of us all.

Douglas
Oct 30, 2008
Thanks for the comment, scribbler! One of these days I'm going to try using the grab bag to write a sonnet! :)

Douglas
Aug 17, 2008
I think you've got a winner. Lists of names are so much fun in poetry - it's like a jigsaw puzzle to get the right names in the right order, and then it sounds so impressive when you get it right.

By the way, if you look at this one Sesquipedalianism, it has the same meter & rhyme as yours, but looks very different, because the 4/3 lines are combined to make lines of 7.

Advantage to that is, it makes the poem more compact. But also, somewhere in your poem (if I remember right) you had a line of 3/4. Writing it as a line of 7 does away with that issue.

Douglas
Aug 17, 2008
Ah, I see. That pronunciation is a bit problematic for an iambic meter - there's no way to make it fit!

I checked a couple different websites (my own French is a bit rusty) and the more reputable sites said roo-SO is the correct pronunciation.

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