Invisible Joe: Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

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Invisible Joe

Invisible Joe's Writer Profile Page. ID = 196

Writing

Waitin' in line (May 7, 2008)
Rub-a-Dub-Dub (May 7, 2008)
Y-ning (Apr 14, 2008)
Unthinkable (Apr 14, 2008)
Physics (Apr 14, 2008)
Plato's Poets (Apr 3, 2008)
The Frog in the Bog (Mar 26, 2008)
Poem From a Trashcan (Mar 25, 2008)
True Riches (Mar 25, 2008)
Ugly Pageant (Mar 25, 2008)

More writing by Invisible Joe

Reading List

Josiah T.Rabbit Stulostcerebellum
Sylvan Sylph 

Messages


Rabbit Stu
Apr 17, 2008
No denying, I like all your poems as well
The rhythm and rhyme is as clear as a bell.
If you did this week's prompt, you could use it to tell
How much you enjoy the books written by Shel!

Douglas
Apr 14, 2008
Added note to my previous comment...when I showed you 'Physics' reformatted, in its new form I realized that you have almost perfect anapestic meter. You can improve the meter by adding a couple words in the last two lines, but the trade off is that your mid-line rhyme would no longer "stand out" because it is no longer the close of the thought:

I signed up for physics, but don't ask me why.
I don't like the topics - they're boring and dry.
The teacher, she taught us that physics has laws.
Things act like they ought to, the rules have no flaws

My opinion is that the metrical flow is more important than the mid-line rhyme, but that's a decision you've got to make!

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